Thursday, April 7, 2011


A post on Facebook regarding the 17th anniversary of Kurt Cobain's suicide (hence the referral to him later in this post) has triggered my thoughts, and, needing to be shared in as many places as possible, I felt compelled to share them here as well.

When it comes to suicide and suicidal thoughts, I am not always the most sympathetic person. It causes SO MUCH pain for those that are left behind, I can get quite angry with someone who is suicidal, especially if they already know my story and try to threaten me with their suicidal thoughts. Of course, that's a totally different topic. But if someone shares with me that they feel suicidal, I share with them my story. First of all, that my step-dad committed suicide to escape jail. He wasn't well liked by pretty much anyone at that point and still his death inflicted a great amount of pain. We may have been angry with him, hurt by him, yet we loved him and despite the circumstances, were devastated by his choice. He was a coward. His death was brought about by cowardice and fear. The realization that someone who could cause as much pain as he did in life could also cause so much anguish in death was an eye opener because I realized I had many more people who loved me than he did and I saw how much pain it would cause should I choose that path.

Secondly, my brothers suicide was different. He was truly at the bottom of the pit. He had tied the knot so many times and clung to it and it got frayed. To me, my brother is a casualty of the spiritual war that we all battle every day. There was no one at fault in his death except Satan who choose to attack him with everything he had that fateful day. He was sick, he was alone, he was losing his dreams.... Sadly, the next day he got the job of his dreams, his girlfriend had NOT dumped him as he believed... One more day would have made a world of difference to him. Satan knew that and attacked while he was weak. Further, his father's choice of death opened that door to him. There was fear that he would be like his father, there was fear he was unloved. He knew his sisters loved him. I'll never truly know (this side of heaven) why he made the choice he did, but I'm certainly glad that God knows and that God was with him when he died.

This is not to justify or to romanticize suicide by any means. It means that there are many reasons, many paths to that choice. I realize this is not an article about suicide in general, but rather an article about Kurt Cobain. I didn't know the man. I didn't know his music. What I do know is that anytime we discuss someone who has committed suicide we must be careful to be free of judgment, free of condemnation. Kurt Cobain's life does not appear to be lived in Godly standards. He chose poorly, he got trapped by Satan. Let us never forget who the true enemy is. Let us never forget that Satan uses confusion, angst, depression and any other trap he can get his hands on to entangle us up with him. Was Kurt Cobain an example of a Christian life? I doubt it. Was his death an example to us? Yes, because we can look at the pain and the angst that influenced him to make that decision, we can look at the pain and suffering that his decision caused others.

Don't let Satan win the battle for your life by taking it yourself. Make him fight for it with everything you have, recognize that is is he who wants you dead, and turn to God for your true life!!