Wednesday, April 29, 2009


He hideth my soul in the cleft of the rock
That shadows have dried thirsty land
He hideth my life in the depths of his love
And covers me there with his hand.
"He Hideth My Soul", by Eddy Arnold

This song came to my mind to comfort me today. There are times when I need to be hidden. When my soul is hurting and I need a place to hide then I can be assured that Jesus will just hide me. He will not only hide me but He will put me in a place surrounded by rocks, impenetrable by those who wish me harm and then He will cover me completely by His hand. His strong, powerful, invincible hand that will keep me warm and cared for while I am hiding. What an amazing God. What a powerful promise. When I am weary, worn, tried, tested, scared and just plain worn out then He will just hide me so I can rest and He will take care of me. When I feel at my rope's end, I don't have to tie a knot, I can cry out to Him who is greater than all things and He will carry me to a place where I will be safe and cover me there until I am ready to come out.

I am grateful to my God today. I am thankful that He will place me in the cleft and hide me there to protect me. So, on days when I feel out of control, worn out, tested beyond my limits, I can hide. I don't have to be and do everything, I can just rest in Him and then I find strength to do the minimal things, working by routine rather than by heart and that is OK.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

To be Irreplaceable

Shortly after we married I was working as a legal assistant in a family office, doing divorce law. It taught me two things, 1. I hated family law and 2. I was never going to get a divorce, I would do everything in my power to have a marriage that lasts than go through or put my family through anything so nasty, demeaning and destructive. I did not enjoy that job for a myriad of reasons and even though initially my main job was working with the divorce lawyer, I also worked for an estate lawyer. I enjoyed the estate and litigation work. The other major problem was there had been a mis-communication in the hiring process that meant I was being paid about $500 less a month than I had anticipated. They assured me they would raise me up as I worked there longer and yet, at my first salary review, they told me that I was "not indispensable" and therefore was getting no raise at all. I quickly found another job, but based on that low payscale it took me about 5 years before I was making the same amount of money before I took that job - and I had to leave the legal field to do it.

When I try to make my own place, to create my own calling, then I fail myself and my God because I am trying to be God. When I seek to have an irreplaceable role, desiring it so strongly that I attempt to create my own, I may feel it is an irreplaceable role but the truth is that I will have created exactly the opposite - an unnecessary one. A calling, created by myself, is nothing less then a make-work project, and it is harder work than the work God calls us to do. See, when God calls us to work, He calls us into a partnership with Him, where He does the bulk of the heavy labour. When God calls us to a task, He enables, strengthens and supports us so we can accomplish it.

28Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

29Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and
lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

30For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Matthew 11:28-30

When I fill the job, or answer the calling, that God has given me, then I am irreplaceble, or indispensable. Then I can accomplish more, reach more than when I step out on my own, trying desperately to fill a job meant for someone else.

Are you filling the role God has called you to or are you running from it, trying to create a place in the world for yourself that does not fit His plan for your life? I am so grateful that He has called me to where I am today. The calling has changed over the years along with the circumstances of my situation and my life and I am forever thankful that He is in charge of my life!

Monday, April 27, 2009


22And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer,
believing, ye shall receive.
Matthew 21:22

It is hard sometimes to remember to ask. I was visiting with some friends from Choices this past weekend and was sharing with them how much I would like to coach some time soon. There are some steps I need to take before I can do that and I cannot control how quickly some of those steps happen. So, I realized I have not prayed about this. I have not asked for God to open the doors so I can go, I had not actually gone to Him and said "this is something I want to do. If You want me to do it, please make it possible". So, last night I began praying for this. God can say "no", "not yet" or "yes". Either way, I am placing it in His hands. I will continue to do my part, but I am content to leaving it with Him. It's the best place for it.

I often want to do things myself. I want to be in control of all the details, the timing and everything else. Sometimes I need to stop and remind myself that God's timing is always perfect and best, even, or especially when, I would do it differently. I have experienced this many times. For example, I got pregnant with my youngest child the week I returned home from my sister's funeral. We had been asking for him for a full year prior to that and I must be honest that my first reaction was "Now?" I wouldn't trade my son for anything. A has been such a blessing in our lives and I know that God has a purpose for him, that God has a special plan for this child. A has a calling to serve God and do a great work for him. Maybe my family needed some good news desperately at that time. Maybe it was a sign that we had made the right decisions. Maybe a lot of things, I'm sure when I see Jesus He will share with me what was going on behind the scenes and why we waited a year to have A and then were given him at a terribly low point.

Sometimes when we ask for something, we don't get it right away. Sometimes we don't get it at all. The truth is that if we trust Jesus and put it all in His hands we will receive what is best for us, even if we cannot recognize that truth in the moment.

So, today I recommit to asking for what I want. Jeremiah 29:11 says:
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD,
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future."

If I truly believe in God and have faith in Him, then I must trust that He wants what is best for me. He does know me. He does have great plans for me, He wants me to have hope and He wants to prosper me in all I do. Are you ready to ask for what you want? Are you afraid to ask for what you want? Can you accept a "no"? Start with something small(ish) or start with something big. Trust that God wants to give you Good things. He loves you. He wants you to ask Him for what you want. He will give you good gifts just because, but there are times when He can't say "yes" until you ask.

God bless you today.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Weathering the storms

6Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life:
no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.
John 14:6 (KJV)

5I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me,
and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit:
for without me ye can do nothing.

6If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch,
and is withered; and men gather them, and
cast them into the fire, and they are burned.
John 15:5-6 (KJV)

Jesus is the vine in which we all abide. There is no other way to life, no other way to live. Unless we are attached to the vine, to the roots, we have no hope of survival.

We often expect that once a person makes the decision to follow Christ, then their life should flow smoothly and they should be protected from all the evils and ills that befall the rest of mankind. The truth is, that as long as we live on this earth, we cannot and will not be exempt from anything everyone else has to go through. If being a Christian meant we would never have to suffer again, then everyone would be a Christian because of the benefits.

A plant is not exempt from the weather that surrounds us. Here in Calgary, it is spring, yet we have already faced one blizzard this week and are looking at another coming in sometime today. We have trees beginning to bud and plants beginning to grow and bloom and they are facing the severe winds, blowing and drifting snow, freezing rain, yo-yo temperatures and all the other things that come with our volatile and unpredictable springs. The branches on those trees cannot escape the weather, rather, because they are securely attached to a deeply rooted, healthy tree they can withstand the storms that beset during its dormant times, its blooming times, and any other time. It doesn't change the storm, the trials or the troubles, it just has the strength to endure.

If I align myself with God and am grafted onto His strong trunk, then I can and will survive any storm. He will sustain me, feed me and hold on to me so I have nothing to fear as long as I stay attached to Him. The minute I chose to let go, then I face the destruction that storms can cause, breaking me from the tree and tossing me about until I am just firewood.

Will you cling to Him? Will you allow yourself to be grafted to His vine so that you can share in His strength? I pray that you do.

Saturday, April 25, 2009


I saw an article on TV the other evening that had me disbelieving my hearing. There was a lady talking about how to succeed, having goals and meeting them. She indicated that 90% of the people around us will do nothing but criticize, negate, condemn or otherwise negatively react when we share our dreams and goals. Her suggestion? To keep your goals a secret. To hide what you want to do or accomplish, to hide, really, who you are.

Now, I'm not a proponent of sharing your deepest thoughts or dreams with just anyone you meet, but I do strongly believe that we need to talk about the things that create passion within us. If we do not share our goals and dreams, we cannot hope to achieve them. Yes, there will be people who will laugh at you and provide many reasons for why you may or will not succeed, but if you are passionate enough, if you want it badly enough, you can take their comments, see a way around them or just dismiss them as being unreasonable. It is true that there will always be someone who will try to beat your dreams out of you, to discourage you from achieving your goals, but only you can choose how to respond - to let go of the dream or to be strengthened to pursue it.

Dreams are a huge part of who we are and who we become. When we let go of our dreams because someone else said we should, then we fail ourselves and become one of the living, walking dead. I've been there. I would far rather be bold and share my dreams so that I hold myself accountable for accomplishing them, than for hiding them in a box and taking them out to look at every now and then. If I hide them in a box, I cannot see that they will be accomplished.

Perhaps I misunderstood the context of the TV article. Perhaps I did not listen long enough to walk away with a true understanding of what she was trying to say, but I know that as I passed by I was distressed that people were being admonished to hide their deep desires, to refrain from sharing them with others. It felt, to me, that the suggestion was to put up walls and barriers between others and ourselves, at least where our goals are concerned.

Alternatively, today at church our pastor called us to step out, to make friends with others in our own community, to get to know people, to allow people to get to know us. Personally, I would rather be willing to share myself with others and to have them share with me than to hide away from them out of fear that they will criticize or condemn me for my goals and dreams.

What about you? Are you willing to share of yourself, confident enough in your dreams and goals that someone else's reaction will not sway you from pursuing them? Put yourself out there. Get to know the people around you and let them get to know you. If someone criticizes or otherwise is negative regarding what you desire for your life, then evaluate and move on. They aren't living your life, you are.

Friday, April 24, 2009


The other day, I had a delightful, relaxing, fun day for me. My husband, M, took the boys to the Supertrain show with his dad and I chose to stay home. I relaxed, read a book, talked to a friend, journalled, prayed, cleaned and cooked. Yet at the end of my afternoon I was anxious for company. Being lonely is something each of us faces and no matter how we can try to fill the void, when you need a friend nothing else will do.

Friendship is an interesting force. God created us to be together. Genesis 2:7-23 tells the story of how God created mankind and He says that was not good that man was alone. Wow. Man was never created to be alone, to travel alone. We were created to share this existence, to carry each others burdens, to be a part of each others lives. So many times we allow the happenings in our lives to isolate us, to keep us from others. The truth is that is not God's plan for us. His plan includes deep, intimate relationships. When He was on earth, Jesus never went without friends. He surrounded Himself with friends, 9 good friends and 3 close friends. He knows our need to be social and have friends.

I remember a day, shortly after we had married and moved to a new city, when I came home from work at a new job I hated, in a new city where we were close to no one and crawled into bed crying because I was just so lonely. I remember pouring my heart out to God, desperate for His help, asking for a friend - even just one. Shortly after that, the next day I believe, I came home from work to find my cat lying motionless and sick on the living room floor. I loved my cat, I had moved her halfway across the country, she was my friend, my confidante and I was terrified. I went through the people we had met at church wondering who I could call for a ride to the vet and, even though I didn't know them well, I called a couple who lived close to us. They were gracious enough to come immediately, drive us to the vet and wait for us to be done to bring us home. It was the start of a beautiful friendship that continues to this day. An answer to prayer. I have forever felt blessed by God to have given me such an immediate and obvious answer to prayer. I know, without a doubt, that God cares deeply about our friendships. When we call to Him, He will provide.

Are you lonely? Take it to God. Trust Him to provide a friend for you, to bring into your life someone you need and someone who needs you. He will not fail you.

Thursday, April 23, 2009


18 Servants, be submissive to your masters with all fear, not only to the
ood and gentle, but also to the harsh. 19 For this is commendable, if
because of conscience toward God one endures grief, suffering wrongfully.
For what credit is it if, when you are beaten for your faults, you take
it patiently? But when you do good and suffer, if you take it patiently,
this is commendable before God. 21 For to this you were called, because
Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example,
that you should follow His steps:
22 “ Who committed no sin,
Nor was deceit found in His mouth”;
23 who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return;
when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself
to Him who judges righteously; 24 who Himself bore
our sins in His own body on the tree, that we,
having died to sins, might live for righteousness—
by whose stripes you were healed.

1 Peter 2:18-24

I had a "wow" moment with these words yesterday as they were read during our Bible study. We were talking about serving God where He has called us. Where He wants us, not where we have made a place for ourselves, or where others have expected us to serve, but to follow God's leading. Verse 21 jumped out at me.

But when you do good and suffer, if you take it patiently,
this is commendable before God. 21 For to this you were called,
because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example,
that you should follow His steps....

Wow. There is nothing else to be said. It does not matter what job or task I am called to, my calling will always be to suffer for doing good. There will always be someone somewhere willing to cause suffering when good is being accomplished. There will always be someone to shoot arrows and try to wound us. I need to expect that. I have an enemy who will do anything and everything to take me out, to destroy my spirit and my relationship with God. I must do my part to make sure he does not succeed.

That brings me to the question, what is my calling? Where does God want me to serve Him? I truly believe that my calling is in relationships. There are various ways I can serve God by strengthening my relationship with Him and others and other ways I can encourage others in their relationships with God and others. Is it any wonder, then, that the enemy has attacked my relationships with a vengeance? That he has tried to destroy me by destroying the relationships closest and dearest to me? It gives me a new perspective and increases my desire to serve my God and build my relationship with Him more everyday. To live my life abundantly in service to Him so that my days, and my sufferings, are not in vain.

What is your calling? What passions, what missions has He placed on your heart? Are you willing to follow Him, to answer that call?

Wednesday, April 22, 2009


I have been studying the book "Captivating", by John and Stasi Eldredge, with a delightful group of women who I have come to love and enjoy immensely. We're finishing the book today and as I reread the chapter last night preparing for this mornings meeting I was struck by the thought that God really does have a mission for me. He has called me to a great work, and whether that great work is something that seems small and insignificant to me and the world around me, or a work that is big and important in the eyes of our society, if He has called me to it, then it is a mighty work.

So many times I look at my life and my daily tasks and I think "Is this it? Is this really all I have to offer?" and the truth is that, Yes, this is all I have to offer because it is me and it is where God has asked me to be. If I am following Him, and I give my all no matter what I am doing, then I am enough. I do not need to offer more than I have been asked. Sometimes He calls us to rest and worship, sometimes He calls us to work all hours of the day but never does He leave us alone to do the work. When we follow His leading, His calling, He is there, side by side with us, to do His part in the work so nothing is lost or left undone.

Yesterday I wrote about being tired. I have often had a problem with allowing myself to rest. I hear the tapes going off in my head saying "you don't deserve to rest, you haven't finished everything yet" or "no one else will take care of it (you), you must get this done". Reality is that when I am that tired, I don't get anything done. I walk around, looking busy, but really accomplishing nothing and then I just feel worse about myself. I heard a sermon once about rest, and about how God calls us to work from rest, not rest from work. It makes total sense. The first thing God had Adam and Eve do was to take a day off. They were created on the 6th day and rested on the 7th and then told to continue that pattern. To rest and worship on the 7th day and to work from the 1st through 6th days. Rest, then work. It makes total sense. To continue that thought, the Bible says that the "evening and the morning were the first day"so we are to sleep first, and work second. (Genesis 1-4)

If I stop when God is calling me to rest, even if the dishes are undone, the living room is a mess, and company is coming, He will give me strength to either trust my friends to be non-judgmental, to ask for help or to give me the rest I need to do the work I need to do.

So, today I am going to consider that God is calling me to rest at this time of my life. To give me time to sort through all that has happened in the last 3 years. Maybe when I am rested I can tackle all those things that I feel passionate about. I am choosing to rest when God calls me to rest and to work when He calls me to work. I wonder, how will this change how I view life? How I feel and how much I get accomplished? How would it change life for you if you were to choose to take care of yourself and rest before you work?

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden,
and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28 (KJV)

I'm tired. It seems that I am nothing but tired. Of course, sleeping through the night would be very helpful. :)

My soul is weary with sorrow;
strengthen me according to your word.
Psalm 119:28 (NIV)

The Bible is full of places that show God understands our weariness, our sorrows and call us to lean on Him alone to carry us and give us rest. It is hard, though, to do just that. I often find in the midst of my exhaustion that I try to carry it all myself, to do it all on my own instead of turning to God for strength and support - not even because I want to, but rather because I am too tired to think of anything else. When I turn to Him and I rest in Him, then my soul is refreshed. He wants me to take care of myself though, He won't rescue me from my own follies of staying up late, or doing things that are unhealthy for me because He wants me to obey His laws of health given to help me.

So, I must evaluate myself and honestly look at my decisions to discover if I am tired because of my decisions or because of things beyond my control. I must be committed to do what it takes to have what I want, and what I want right now is to be rested so I can accomplish more in my day. That would be blessed.

Monday, April 20, 2009


God is amazing, isn't He? I was just telling my boys how awesome He is this morning. The parking lot just above the library we go to has the most amazing view of the mountains and today has a crystal clear, breathtaking skyline.

I took the opportunity to remind the boys that everything God created, He created for us. I told C that if he was the only person to enjoy a sunrise God would have created it just for him, and we should take joy in the beauty that surrounds us because it is God's special gift to us. It is an amazing thought, isn't it, that the beauty in this world does not serve any other purpose but to make our lives more enjoyable. What do you enjoy most? Do you realize that God created it just for you? That if you were the only one to love roses, He would have made roses for you?

Sometimes we forget to look at the beauty that surrounds us in music, relationships, nature and food. I must remember to open my eyes and take in the glory that surrounds me every minute of each day. To live, not survive. To live in thankfulness at the blessings of God and to see them all around me every day.

Saturday, April 18, 2009


Oh my soul, bless God. From head to toe, I'll bless His Holy Name!
Oh my soul, bless God, don't forget a single blessing.
Psalm 103:1-2 (Msg)

It is so easy to focus on the negative in life. We walk through our day and at the end we share the difficulties, the problems, the worries and oh, so often, we fail to remember the blessings in it. Yet, the days that we look at our day and remember the good things, the roses, or even just the rose buds, among the thorns.

Studies have shown that the negative, the bad things that happen to us are more easily remembered than the positives, the good things. Perhaps that is because we rehash the negatives, we replay them over and over in our heads, sometimes out of guilt and remorse or shame and sometimes to try to figure out what went wrong, what we could have done differently. Sometimes it is others who won't let us forgive our mistakes, but nevertheless, it is true that we remember the negative better and longer than we remember the positive.

Psalms 103-108 are strong pulls to remember the good things that happen in our lives. David implores us to remember what God has done, to put it into song, to
"Keep your eyes open for God, watch for His works, be alert for signs of His presence. Remember the world of wonders He has made, His miracles, and the verdicts He's rendered...." Psalm 105:5,6 (Msg)

But David doesn't stop at asking us to do that, he doesn't leave it up to us. Rather, he immediately launches into detailing all the marvelous, miraculous things God had done for His people, as far back as Noah. He examples for us how to remember. He doesn't neglect the foolish things that God's people had done, he doesn't gloss over how Israel turned their back on God time and again, He shows how God's love has stayed constant even when they hurt Him and despised Him and rejected Him.

That gives us hope. Even though we are sinners, even though sometimes (most times!) we fail miserably in following God and obeying His commands, His love is constant, unfailing and merciful. That is not to say that there are not times when we must face the consequences of our actions, those are real and stay the same but God will never forsake us, never fail us when we call on Him to carry us.

Psalm 107 spoke to me this morning because it is so appropriate to our lives, and point at specific circumstances that we suffer. Some wandered in the desert, looking but not finding a good place to live; Some were locked in a dark cell, cruelly confined behind bars; Some of you were sick because you'd lived a bad life; Some of you set sail in big ships, you put out to sea to do business in faraway ports, storms tossed you until you didn't know which end was up; and in every case He got you out in the nick of time.

The truth is that no matter life's circumstances or shat we experience or suffer, God can and will get us out when we call on Him. Sadly we usually wait until we are desperate, until we have exhausted every other avenue of help and used up all our own will-power and then, hanging from the end of our rope, we cry out to God and He rescues us, just in the nick of time.

I admonish you this morning to cry out to God, to save you from the situation you are struggling with. Right now, this moment, He is waiting to hear your plea for salvation. He is calling you to Himself, begging you to let Him help you. Also, remember the blessings God has given you in your life. Reflect on what has happened, on what He has done for you. Write them down, give yourself a history to look back on when you begin to doubt God's love for you. His love is never-failing and I am positive you will find evidence of that in your life when you begin to look for it.

Friday, April 17, 2009


1 I will lift up my eyes to the hills—
From whence comes my help?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
Who made heaven and earth.
Psalm 121:1-2, NKJV

As I look back on my life, I am struck by the tragedies and abuses that happened throughout it's (fairly) short duration. Yet, at the same time, I am amazed that I still stand because there were times when it seemed impossible I would come out the other side unscathed. Truth is, I am not unscathed, but I do still stand, and for the most part, I stand strong..... even when I don't feel or want to be strong. My focus is on the fact that I have survived, and if I have survived all that then I can continue to survive.

Am I talking around the bush? Perhaps. You'll hear the details of much of my life story eventually, but today my focus is not on what happened but rather what didn't happen. What didn't happen is that I did not allow the pain and sorrow to crush or destroy me. I am still standing. I am still living. I am still surviving. Somedays I bow under the weight of the pain, but always I have a God that I can pass on the pain too and He carries me, laying me down to rest and giving me the strength to make it through another day, another week.

The strange thing is that I know in Whose strength I continue to go on. I know that He will never forsake me, never leave me and in that knowledge and strength I ought to be able to walk without fear of the future, yet... there are days when I succumb to the pain and fear that more will happen. Truth is I cannot stop anything that will happen in the future. What I can do is live my life abundantly, as God desires me to do. Will fearing that death will take another loved one stop them from dying? No. Will fearing that abuse will touch me or my family again stop it from happening? No. I am not sufficient protection while we live in this sinful world and I must do my best to protect by education - not only in what situations to avoid or run from, but also when to speak out after the fact. Most importantly, if the only thing I teach my children and share with my friends is to trust God when times are good or when the whole world crashes around them, I have taught them the most valuable survival tool there is.

I would not have survived without God. I know that without a doubt. I can look back at specific moments and say "that is where He saved my life". There are other times I am sure, but I can identify two or three of them without even thinking about it. So. What is my point? I live in fear or more pain, more suffering, more sorrow and I am ashamed of it. God is my strength and on this side of heaven I know that pain will happen. There is no escaping it for anyone. Each of us experiences that pain, delivered in different methods, but always it is present.

If He walks with me, if He sustains me, I truly have nothing to fear. The worst has happened and I still stand, I have no cause to doubt His goodness or His plan for my life. Today, I commit to living my life in joy and thankfulness for the gifts I have received and for the salvation I have received. When the fear comes, I commit to giving it to God to deal with and walking away from it wisely and within His plan for me. What about you? Can you trust God to safely walk you through anything you might have to face?

Tuesday, April 14, 2009


Welcome to my new blog. It's a new venture and one I hope will be as interesting to those reading as it will be to me writing. I'm taking a step of faith but it promises to be a good adventure.

Why "Sarah Singing"? I sing. I love to sing. I have even composed some of my own songs, not that anyone outside of my children and husband have heard them, but I have done it and I have to say that I think they are pretty good - and my children agree! LOL When I sing I feel empowered, free and in the presence of God. It is a powerful tool in my life. My husband and I often discuss our differences in musical choices - he leans towards classical and orchestral music while for me I need the words. For me, a truly good classical/orchestral piece puts words into my head, he finds words distracting. It's interesting how the same song can bring totally different messages to people, or be powerful for one and annoying for the other.

I'm rambling now. Much of my thoughts come out that way. Please bear with me as I journey here. I'll work on less rambling and more productive thinking another day. Today it is just enough that I have finally taken this step. I feared blogging. I had to really consider why that was and then I realized that I'd be putting my words 'out there'. Opening myself up to criticism and then I might not be accepted, appreciated, enjoyed or even read. Of course the other side of it was that I'd be opening myself up, period. It's a daunting thought, really, and then I realized that if I ever want to be published I need to face that. A person cannot write without exposing themselves to the world. I have a story to tell, a witness to bear and I cannot do that sitting silently and inactively on the sidelines.

I'll write more later. This is just my beginning. My goal is to write every day, so, I shall see you tomorrow, sometime. I make no guarantees about when I'll get to write, just that I will.

God bless you. Thanks for being willing to share my journey with me.